What are you pretending not to know?
- 1 day ago
- 2 min read
When things feel stuck, the instinct is to look outward.
Markets. Competitors. Capability. Systems.
All sensible places to look.
But often not the most important place.
More often than not, the real constraint sits with the founder, in something they haven’t quite admitted to themselves yet.
Quiet truths that haven’t fully surfaced.
“I don’t actually enjoy this stage anymore.”
“This isn’t quite the business I thought I was building.”
“I know this structure won’t scale.”
“I’m delaying a decision because it will change things.”
When those thoughts stay unspoken:
Decisions slow down.
Complexity builds.
Energy drops.
From the outside it looks like a strategy issue.
From the inside it’s about alignment with reality.
I’ve seen this dynamic play out with clients.
And I’ve lived it myself.
Business Partnership Breakdown
After many years of working successfully together, one of my own business partnerships broke down beyond repair.
It wasn’t about who was right or wrong.
It was more like the “irreconcilable differences” you hear about in marriages.
Eventually the honest answer became unavoidable.
The only real solution was to sell the business and go our separate ways.
The decision felt obvious in hindsight.
But it took self-awareness to get there.
It doesn’t always have to be that dramatic.
But, in my experience, progress rarely starts with a clever new plan.
It usually starts with an honest realisation.
Not brutally.
Not publicly.
Just honestly.
Because, once something is named, it can be worked on.
And once it’s worked on, change becomes possible.
If your business feels harder than it used to, it might be worth asking yourself:
What am I pretending not to know?
Maybe the role you loved at the start isn’t the one the business needs now.
Maybe you’ve outgrown the stage you’re in, or it’s outgrown you.
Maybe the team structure works today but won’t for what comes next.
Maybe a hire is wrong in values, not competence.
Maybe you’re still leading with founder urgency when the business now needs calm leadership.
Maybe your growth plans are driven more by expectation than by purpose.
These are your clarity gaps.
And, once they’re named, they tend to point the way forward.
If you find yourself circling something difficult, it can help to have a calm, experienced sounding board while you think it through. That’s often where I do my best work with founders.